Oops!

Yes, i will begin with an apology...However, there is a reason and it's legit!
i've been having computer mishaps which are currently unresolved---Therefore this blog comes from the office (keep it on the low!) Have you ever taken the time on a Sunday afternoon to actually DO NOTHING? i'm not talking about sitting back and watching t.v. while munching on potato chips and slurping sodas. i'm talking about really literally---just lying down and soaking in the sounds and the feel of the air---the bed against your body. Well, that's just what i did yesterday afternoon. i had planned my afternoon, as i always do, but i felt the need from my body to try something different. It seemed like my body was pleading with me to just stop and relax. i actually listened, and am glad i did so. It was such a new experience for me and i feel so much better now that i did so. For 3 and 1/2 hours i streched out on my futon with my "little girl" Mollie, and that was the extent of it. We simply lie there---no distractions. When i went to bed at night, i slept uninterrupted and wholly. It was wonderful and i totally correlate it with my afternoon relaxation. Then, i was able to awake feeling rested and prepared for a new week. For the first time in a long while, i was able to begin my day with a great devotion time. That in itself made my day "happy" because it always does. Anytime i begin the day in meditation with God---well, doesn't that speak for itself?!

Persistence

Ok...i know, i know, i know---i have slacked!  What, over a week since i last blogged?  Shame on me---but...i have an excuse.  Maybe not such a legitimate excuse, but one none the less.  In the past week i have been sincerely focusing on me.  Woah, that sounds so incredibly conceited---trust me, conceited i am NOT!  (considering the fact that my self-esteem generally lingers around "minimal" and "non-existent")  So, i digress...It's funny how something that seems so positive and productive (focusing on me) typically becomes distressing and problematic for me.  What happens is that i tend to nit pick---in the end i focus on the negative and begin to dwell and OBSESS!  By the time i finish, i have diminished myself to mere crap.  This conclusion leaves me feeling alone and worthless.  The peculiar thing is this:  i am so manic that in the next moment, i may be "high on life"---which is more consistent with my general outlook (on life).  

What's the point of these insights?  What i've concluded is that a) focus is good, as long as it is appropriate, b) i MUST have someone healthy available to keep me in check w/ reality (since my "reality gauge" is most often inaccurate), and c) sometimes life isn't meant to be explained--it only demands that we engage and experience.  i am learning that as i do so, the rest usually falls into place.  Sometimes where it falls is an entirely unexplored place which scares the mess out of me, but as i stay with it and work my way through, i am blessed with some new experience---Sometimes, this "life" thing is soooo crazy... 

Small Changes, Huge Difference

So, this week's project has been "office renovations".  i recently began a new job.  i now work at Bartimaeus by Design, which is my uncle, Eddie's, business.  Small scale my uncle know's not!  This one business is of many, all housed by Brinkley Marketing Agency.  Well, thanks to Steve Byerly (laugh) my office had been painted this horrendous shade of dark red.  There is actually no word for it.  Eddie had given me permission to "redecorate" the office to suit me...Well, the crew (Mom and Pop) moved in on last Thursday and began the work.  We painted the room yellow, brought in my desk, along with numerous items to make the space more "me".  The majority of the work was completed yesterday and it looks AMAZING!  You can't even imagine it ever looking as it did in the past!  Basically, "Extreme Home Makeover" has nothing on the "Dream Team"  of Mom and Pop!  

The main point of this blog is---in all areas of life, think of how strong an impact even the simplest of changes may bring forth.  It may been regarding habits, day-to-day activities, relationships, self-image, self-talk, perceptions on your job (or even your life).  It relates to EVERYTHING!  Seriously, it's really incredible!  Think about it---all we need to do (many times) is to take the time necessary to implement "small changes" or alterations to the way we've "always done it" and chances are that we will be pleasantly surprised with the results...And hey, if we aren't, all it takes is more "small changes" to bring forth new results!  Sounds exciting to me, and hey...i'm on for the ride!  Jump aboard!

Freedom Day...

Happy 4th of July (ok, so i'm a day late...)  That's a good problem for me because i was actually busy!  i was taking care of things at work and then i celebrated with family!  To begin the day, i stopped down stairs and got my triple shot iced redeye.  Then, i headed down to the office to check e-mail for answers one of our customers needed.  After responding, i headed to begin my July 4th preparations...i went to K-mart and bought a baby pool (for dipping our feet) and some festive plates.  Then, i went w/ my Dad to get groceries.  Have you ever noticed that when you try to take the "simple way" it seems that you spend the most money?  By the time we got back to my apartment, it was time to start the grill.  i went to pick up my grandmother and some tea from Mickey D's...When we got back to the apartment, my other grandparents had arrived.  We all hung out while Dad and Pop cooked the burgers (and my Portabella).  After we finished, we sat on the deck w/ Mollie and talked.  By 9 o'clock everyone left and Mollie and i sat and searched for free samples of fireworks (sucks being poor).  We saw a few, but mainly heard them from the opposite direction (which we were unable to see).  We ended up watching "Harry Potter" (and the Sorceror's Stone), which satisfied me.  So, that's my story...it's a pretty uneventful day, but it was my day and hey, i had fun!